Monday, 11 July 2016

National Scouse Day

First the good news, National Scouse Day is now upgraded officially to Global Scouse Day.
I have had a National Scouse Day celebration annually for 3 years now, and it is becoming an important date on the social calendar.

Scouse is a dish strongly associated with the city of Liverpool, and is even used as a term of affection to describe people from that city.
As Liverpool is, or was,  a major world port, the dish is supposed to have been brought in by sailors, possibly Dutch, or maybe Latvian.
The earliest recording of the dish is from the early 18th century.
A simple dish of meat, usually lamb or beef, with onions, carrots, swede and potatoes, best served with  a garnish of pickled red cabbage and/or beetroot.
And we are fortunate to have been provided with Lamb from Yealand Farm.
Well tasty.
A pan of Blind Scouse is prepared for our vegetarian guests.

Of course, I know what you are all thinking, ‘But surely National…sorry.. I mean Global…… Scouse Day is February 28? ‘not in July?’
And you are right, but sadly I am never at home during February, usually on tour in some exotic country, so I celebrate this global event in July.

The first to arrive is our honoured guest McGoohan, one of the leading characters from the new book by MK Yealand ‘Shag Yourself Thin’,
a humorous look at the big business of fad diets and the nation’s obsession with sex.
Very amusing and at an appropriately slim volume of 57 pages, perfect for that train ride or flight.

purchase your copy here - 


McGoohan was rather disappointed to be the first to arrive as it meant he had a longer wait to eat, and he was starving.
But all is not lost, he has come well armed with organic beers and a nice bottle of Rosé wine from the Provence region of France, the perfect accompaniment for a dish of Scouse.


The next to arrive is an actual Scouser, known as SKB for short, with his delightful girlfriend. Again suitably armed with beers.
The guests arrive thick and fast, a famous radio DJ. Friends and neighbours.
And so the food is served to everyone’s delight.
Some late comers, but equally welcome. One in particular, Warlow himself arrived, yes THE Warlow, the hero of ‘Shag Yourself Thin’.
Warlow, now that he is a literary character, has become more flamboyant of late, and entertains us all with his witticisms such as :

‘There is only one thing worse than being invited to Scouse Day, and that is not being invited to Scouse Day’’ 

He flicks his flowing locks, to be caught by the breeze as he shakes his silver mane to accentuate the affect.


Warlow is without his Jester, he had offered the vacant position to McGoohan, as you can see by reading the book, but McGoohan refused.
His previous Jester, Gutbucket, had arrived at last year’s National Scouse Day, insulted all the guests, then the host, and finally the hostess before leaving with his ‘best friends’ who he had met in the pub an hour earlier.
Gutbucket is now banished to Australia never to return.

A noted absentee is Ros who trapped her thumb in the car door and went to A&E, the other Godfrey Butler, although invited, he declared he preferred to celebrate all things Scouse actually in Liverpool. A blatant lie, National Scouse Day holds no opportunity for any social or financial advancement, so he instead is most likely sunning himself  in the South of France, no doubt at someone else’s expense, quaffing gallons of the local Claret, again, at someone else’s expense.

A few late arrivals, Lady Sara Burley turned up completely drunk, having been ‘On the lash’ all day, and hungrily scoffed the last of the scouse. Fly Boy decided it was time to leave, as he was talking complete gibberish due to the amount of Gin and Tonic he had tucked away. We had to persuade him it wasn’t a great idea to cycle home in such a state of rampant drunkenness, thankfully, good sense prevailed, and Fly Boy decided it was foolish to cycle home as he could  injure himself and he would walk home instead,
‘Excellent’ we all thought, ‘tll he took 2 steps forward, tripped over his own feet and with a thud, landed face first on the concrete.
Massive black eye!
The first casualty of the day.

As it got dark and cold the fire came on and the BBQ fired up for some sausages. Warlow, who had exclaimed his dislike of beetroot, red cabbage, swede, and, well, the scouse actually, was delighted.
‘Emotions are for women,’ he exclaimed. ‘Sausages are for men’, and tucked in.


As I sit here tonight reflecting on the day, there is a knock at the door, Nurse Sue arrives, the wrong day; it was yesterday Sue!
But with an eclectic mix of German, Guyanese, American, Italian, Persian Scottish and even an Australian, Northern folk, public school boys, Posh Birds, DJs, musicians and authors, maybe Scouse Day can unite the world in perfect peace and harmony?

So, what a magnificent National Scouse Day! Rapidly becoming one of the musts on the social calendar of this divided nation.
Big thanks to Jane for the cake, Jan for the lamb and the sausages. Amy, Hades, you are a star. No one has ever done such a wonderful job of cooking, serving, pouring and cleaning up “as you go” — and all the while engaging in meaningful chit chat with a house full of drunks. Poetry in motion.


See you next year.

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