Wednesday, 16 March 2016

Are you ready to Grumble?!!

The morning walk was filled with excitement for the big boxing match later that day.
The contestants had been squaring up to each other all week with comments such as . . .

‘Mind I don’t scuff your nose
And . . .
‘Ill be giving your ear a good buffeting

Since boot camp started we have had nothing but complaints from Martin.
So in his honour we named this titanic event ‘The Grumble in the Jungle.

He is my boy. I am training him and coaching him from the side, and he certainly needs it.

Tension was palpable as the time approached.

We needed a good name for my boy, Matthew is Mattloaf – The Matt Out of Hell.

Hmmmm for Martin?
I thought of StarvinMartin due to his complaints about the lack of food on bootcamp
Or maybe ‘HankMartin?
We decided  Marvellous Martin had a more fearsome ring to it.

So here we have it.
Mattloaf v Marvellous Martin.
The Grumble in the Jungle.
3 x 2 minute rounds.

An even match actually. Matthew has better technique and more experience, but Marvellous has the height advantage and the longer reach.
My coaching advice was to keep his distance and let Mattloaf tire himself out as he tried to come under his guard, and use his advantage in reach.

A good strategy I thought, and one that was bearing fruit early in round one.
Mattloaf came in low, trying to get under Marvellouss guard, but couldnt get near him.
Marvellous being patient, ready to strike.
The crowd was cheering wildly.

The bell sounded for the end of round one with Mattloaf slightly ahead on points, but clearly more tired than Marvellous. The plan was working, mainly ‘cos Marvellous kept running around the garden like a frightened rabbit to keep well out of reach, taking my coaching advice to the extreme.

Second away (thats me) Round Two.
Started much the same as the first, Matthew coming in low, but tiring, allowing Marvellous to land a few blows too.
Round two also belonged to Mattloaf, but only just!

So we have it, it has come to this, the final round.

I unleashed the beast, with Matthew exhausted, Marvellous went for the kill, landing a fair few good punches, but Mattloaf isnt finished and came back strongly.

A cheer goes up!!
Mattloaf is down!!!

For a count of 3.
Yes, down! Not from a skillful right hook from Marvellous, but rather he slipped on a dockleaf.
Its all over, the final bell.
And  to the judges.
The decision, due to the fantastic comeback from Marvellous . . .


Mattloaf contended he won by 2 rounds to one.
But the panel rejected his pleas.
Similarly Marvellous says he won on points.
The judges told him to be grateful for the result he got.
It was a good contest actually and the crowd ( 5 people) were baying for more.
Silence ensues as forward step another two bold gladiators, willing to try out their martial skills in combat, to sate the unquenched desire for more battle from the baying mob.

They glove up and look each other square in the eye.
Each psyching out the other, looking for any weakness to exploit.
Again, evenly matched combatants.

The entire crowd of 5 people once more takes up the cheer,

Ken – Deformitus Maximus vs ‘Jack‘ The Hawk.

Again 3 rounds and again an honourable draw, due to neither opponent actually landing a so much as a glove anywhere on either contestant.
But a bold effort from all.
And then we all return for a right nice cuppa tea.
Ken choosing camomile.

So there you have it. Its all over. But talk in the evening turns to…. Rematch!!!!!!

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